Judging your trauma

Don’t judge someone else’s trauma or compare your own.

That’s the point of this post.

Trauma is one of those things that I totally understand. I’ve lived through trauma, experienced it, suffered from it, and grew from it. One thing that saddens me about trauma survivors is there judgment regarding either their own trauma or someone else’s.

For example, someone discusses their trauma and another person wants to “do them one better.”

By doing so, you just totally invalidated the first person’s experiences. Regardless if you feel your trauma was worse, it doesn’t matter. Theirs was still traumatizing.

Each person has a different threshold for pain. Some people go to the delivery room and need medications, an epidural, etc. Some don’t. Some go in and give birth like it didn’t make a difference in the world. Push and done. We are all different.

The one thing that is the same for everyone is that we all experienced trauma. Some people’s trauma is different than others, but when push comes to shove we’ve either all dealt with it or will at some point.

I’ve heard people judge themselves saying, “I know I should feel happier because nothing big has happened to me, but for some reason, I feel so…”

The truth is, you need not judge yourself. There is no way you should or should not feel. You’ve dealt with stuff that is hurting you and it’s okay.

Just because you weren’t kidnapped in your life, or tortured, doesn’t mean you didn’t experience things. For example, I’ve never experienced a house fire. I’m glad, I don’t want to experience that. I hope I never have to. That said, because I never experienced a house fire doesn’t minimize the fact that I experienced other things. Each person has their own struggles to deal with. I don’t want someone else’s struggles and they don’t want mine. We were not meant to be the same.

So, feeling bad because you “should” be okay because you haven’t really gone through anything and you feel bad for not feeling good about life, is simply nonsense. Don’t compare your trauma. Don’t minimize other people’s struggles either. If you’re not feeling great, don’t feel bad for getting help, just get help. It’s okay.

What’s not okay is ignoring your trouble. It’s only going to get worse. You will feel worse. My point, if you need help get help. If you don’t, don’t talk about those who do. My belief is every person in the world would benefit from “getting help” and don’t judge yourself or anyone else for handling or not handling their problems. Each life is built differently.

Make sense?  

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Here’s for Anxiety!

Image result for pics of scared people

So, I was sitting in the bathroom, phone in hand, scrolling through my emails when I heard it. The problem was, I was home alone. No husband, no kids- just me, alone. My ears perked up and I sat in total silence. After a considerable amount of time of nothing, I went back to my emails.

This time, the sound was distinct, right outside of the bathroom door. The floor was creaking. There was someone standing outside of the door. Mind you, I have no clue why I was still in the bathroom, I was fully clothed, I had just gotten dressed and decided that it was a good time to check my email. However, being home alone and someone outside of the door, I was now stuck.

My brain went back about 15 years, the first time my child told me the house was haunted. Why my brain decided to go there is beyond me. I’m not the kind of person who worries about such things. But then again, perhaps I am because that’s what happened. Then I thought about my son and his night terrors of the “shadow man”. Both my girls swear they’ve seen him/witnessed him as well.

So, now in my brain, as my anxiety kicks in, it’s me against a supernatural shadow fella who’s patiently impatiently waiting for me to leave the bathroom. I realize it had to be the shadow guy because nobody else was in the house, the dog would have barked.

You would have thought that at this point, logic would have set in, but it didn’t. I am now ready to combat a shadow ghost, in which I don’t even believe in- unless we went spiritual like angel/demonic, but that would creep me out even more.

So, ghost against me. Got it. My adrenaline was ready for me. If the typical response is fight, flight, or freeze, I am most definitely a fight girl. So, now I’m ready for a supernatural war in the midst of my home. I decided to make the first move. I yell at the guy from behind the door. No, I’m not lying.

“Get!” is what my brain decided to say. By the way, this is the same response I give the cat when she’s in my way.

Pause. Nothing. Moments later the floor creaks and I hear the weight of his feet shift. Game on. We’re full-fledged heading to combat.

As fast as my somewhat large body can carry me, I bust open the door with all my might. Granted, it takes absolutely no might to open a bathroom door. However, in my defense, I have no clue to how strong shadow men are, so I had to use force. Don’t judge, this is my story.

In addition to the fact that I had to use my strength, my voice decided to be heard. I didn’t expect to yell at the guy, but hey, why not?

So, if you can picture me, hair in a bun, holding a phone, coming out of the bathroom as if the house were on fire and screaming, then you can visualize EXACTLY what my dog saw.

Yep. She looked at me and I looked at her. How the dog was able to stifle her laughter I have no idea. Perhaps she accepted the fact that I am not a normal human. Regardless, the relief I felt that there was no random shadow ready to attack was nice, but it didn’t outweigh my embarrassment as I felt the need to explain to my dog my situation. Which therein lies my other problem…